


Colors

by BubbleGumJun



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, Ego era, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, OT6, POV Multiple, Rose era, Self-Doubt, Suicide Attempt, Yongguk centric, blue era, himchan centric, its not graphic don’t worry, noir era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 12:36:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13387935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbleGumJun/pseuds/BubbleGumJun
Summary: the battle in your mind





	1. Noir

Black 

His mind was corrupt. 

He felt no purpose. 

Despite the many times his group mates told him otherwise. He couldn’t shake the little voice telling him he’s not enough. 

He put on a face. 

A mask to keep his true self hidden. 

But this lead to that, until suddenly there was stains on his bathroom floor and god, he just felt worse. 

He feels that he deserves to leave. 

To sign that damn paper and this whole thing is over with. 

Something is keeping him here. 

Keeping him away from that haunting piece of paper that can change his life again. 

That one thing keeping him here. 

Was the one thing pushing him away.


	2. Rose

Red 

The color of his hair. The color of his heart. The color of the stains on his bathroom floor. 

He was falling apart. His heart longed for something else. Something other than the idol life. He couldn’t end his contract. He couldn’t leave the group. With their leader on break the group needed him. But his heart needed something else. 

Himchan was a people pleaser, everyone knows this, he’ll just keep pushing on until he can’t. 

But he’s almost there. He’s pushed on for so long he doesn’t know how much longer his heart will stay. 

Red

He’s falling apart. Nobody realizes. His heart has moved on. 

His heart may have moved on. 

But not Himchan. 

He will hold on as long as possible.


	3. Honeymoon

Blue

The color of his soul. The color of the bathroom tiles. The stains are fading. He’s fading. 

His soul is keeping him. The world is against him. His own heart is against him. 

The water soothes his skin. He’s burning up. 

He feels out of place in the group. That he doesn’t belong. Despite how ever many times Yongguk told him otherwise. 

He needs a break. 

He can’t breathe. His face under the water restricting his breathing. He’s struggling. He knows he’s doing this to himself. And it’s killing him. 

Literally 

In the darkness of the water and the darkness of his mind he feels free. 

He’s freer than he’s ever been.


	4. Ego

Green 

They continued on without him. 

Exactly like he thought. 

They didn’t need him. 

He ran away. 

Nobody will find him. 

He’s on a hill. 

A green hill. 

The smell of dirt and grass and fresh air calms him. 

He smiles. 

The action feels weird. That’s the first time he’s smiled in months. 

He might go back. 

He’s laying down now. Feeling the grass on his bare arms. 

He’s happy. 

Finally.


End file.
